So I went and read 50 Shades of Grey.
I had no intention of doing so, quite honestly. At all. I’m more of a YA, chick-lit, non-sexual-fantasy sort of reader. (SPOILER ALERT: if squeamish, stop reading.) But everyone was reading it, and then there was controversy over it and the way it was marketed to moms, and I’m not one to back down from poorly written popular fiction (hello, Twilight) NOR a fight that lets me unleash my inner feminist.
But.
Oh. Em. Gee.
One, these books make Twilight look like high literature. I mean, that’s impressive.
Two, I am a wimp, and the hot and steamy scenes I scanned/didn’t read because I was blushing. BY MYSELF. I mean, it’s totally fine, in a way. The books are marketed for adults and are about consenting adults and whatever works is none of my business closed doors we’re all grown ups but LA LA LA LA HAPPY PLACE.
(Am a prude.)
But the real problem is here, with Issue Number Three: these books romanticize violence against women. No, really. They do. I’m not talking about the In The Bedroom Naughty Stuff They Do For Fun. That’s something else all together. I’m talking about the She’s Afraid He Will Physically Punish Her For….fill in the blank. For wearing a sleeveless dress, for taking a call from a male friend, for getting drinks with her girlfriend, for not replying to his email, for….whatever, does it matter?
I know it’s fiction, and I know that it’s written by a mostly inexperienced writer. But there is a HUGE difference between what happens between consenting adults and what happens when one person in a relationship extends physical/emotional control over another person against her (or his!) wishes.
This does not make Christian mysterious, sexy, romantic, tortured, jealous, insecure, insert-placeholder-euphanism-here.
It makes him abusive.
Abusive is not hot. Is not sexy. Is not okay. And I hate that a work of popular fiction is making it seem okay and normal and something to desire and fantasize about.
I have no idea if this is the norm for this genre. I have honestly never read any erotic fiction before (see above: am prude). I may not be the one to come to on analysis of erotic fiction. But gah – for the love of Pete. Stop making it normal for a man to hurt a woman against her wishes, OK? Can we at least agree to that?
I think I heard about that – the violence stuff. I’m also curious why this book has gotten SO MUCH attention. Surely it’s not the first book where people touch private parts.
So I think the violence aspect did it. Which is kind of creepy.
I haven’t read much about it, honestly. Just word of mouth. The one blog post I did read about it was this one: http://mommymelee.com/2012/04/why-the-term-mommy-porn-gives-me-raging-butthurt-an-essay/, which I still really like.
It made me want to like the books, so I could be all “rah-rah girl power, girls (and moms!) can like sex, too! Even if I don’t want to talk about it because AWKWARD!”
And if the, erm, rough stuff (?) was confined to the consensual sex, then that would have been OK. I mean, not my cup of tea, so to speak, but whatever. But it was the entire effing relationship. Ugh.
Anyway, yes, creepy. I agree.
Yes to all of this. It’s disturbing how the seeds of this (the abusive bad-boy love triangle hottie) is also in lots of YA stuff (that take it beyond the squiffy Twilight territory and into idealizing abusive relationships. I haven’t read 50 shades – my smexy-book tolerance is pretty low – but I’ve followed the hoopla with it and hope that the conversation it provokes will be helpful ground for HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ARE BASED ON MUTUAL RESPECT.
As a side note, I recently read and loved Between Shades of Grey and recommended it to a friend at church…who misheard and thought the priest’s wife was recommending 50 Shades to her. haha! Fortunately we’re good enough friends that she checked back in with me.
P.S. I finally read the Twilight series last week and *embarrassed cough* liked it well enough. Okay, confession over.
Ha! So Twilight – John and I were going on vacation and I read my Airport Book too fast and needed a book for the flight, and picked it up there, off the Best Seller list. Finished it before descent, declared it the worst thing I’d ever read, and ran off to buy the second one on our forty minute layover. Have since read them all. Twice. And still maintain that they are utter crap. But still…
I’ve been hearing a lot about this book lately, and I admit I was a little bit curious. I heard it being called “mommy-porn.” I don’t know if I’m ever going to be curious enough to try it, as I’m not really into these kinds of books. Though your post convinced me that it’s probably not a novel I would enjoy.
Thanks for sharing.
You’re response to the book has caught me off guard! I know many people out there are upset over the controlling/abusive aspects of the book, but I rarely read it that way. I noticed, especially in the first book, the tendencies for me to scream at her to run away, but it faded through the books. Fact is… she stood up to him. Alot ALOT. And I think that’s why she won him over. He always gave her a choice. At least that how I saw it. And maybe because the sex made you feel uncomfortable made the rest of it feel uncomfortable too, more so that it would have had it not been so smexy (love that term, btw). I dunno, would love to talk more about it…
And I think that the books popularity stems from the fact that it has a decent narrative attached to it. NOT from the violence aspect of it if you see it that way. From my understanding, other smut has very little interesting plot points, but this one is an actual story. Based on another very popular story, which by they way also had many many people crying foul over Edward’s controlling/protective/seen as abusive tendencies. So I guess what I think is that just like adults consenting to whatever fun they have in the bedroom/playroom/livingroom, this book is hopefully being read by adults consenting to the fact that it is Fiction. To be read for entertainment.
Incidentally, I’d love to know your thoughts on the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo series and why THAT kind of violence against women in literature is OK.
Anyway, not trying to pick a fight. You’re just the first one of my friends who has taken such a strong stance on the book. And it piques my interest
Ha ha. No fight picked, promise!
Yes, the smex (it IS a good term) made me squeamish, but I concede that that is all on me. It’t not bad if that sort of stuff is arousing to someone else, not at all. The parts that stood out to be the most, in terms of what I had issues with, were the times Ana was afraid of what Christian would do to her, even if there wasn’t always follow through – and not in terms of the bedroom stuff. Just in terms of, she was afraid of his response. I did feel the same about Edward, too. More and less so – more so because it was for teenage (and younger) girls, less so because it was much more implied.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo – read it. To me the difference is that the violence in those books was never written in a way that made it anything less than appalling. But, for the record, I really didn’t enjoy reading that, either.
I full admit to be very squeamish and sensitive to these themes, though. More so than most people. And I certainly don’t think it’s wrong for people to enjoy these books in the way they’re meant to be enjoyed.
haha! Exactly. I will say she writes the vibe of the NW raininess nearly perfectly.