I feel like I need to literally dust this blog off. Luckily it’s not an actual thing and requires no dusting. LONG LIVE THE INTERNET.
Anyway, updating has become this Big Thing in my head that I need to do, and the longer I put it off, the more it looms, and in order to prevent it from becoming this insurmountable task, I’m going old school lazy and giving you bullets. As Xander would say, TAH-HAH!
- Xander is, well, about what we expected. He loves Luna. Loves her. “Want to touch the baby Luna!” is a frequent refrain around here. Which is oh so sweet, yes, and also terrifying because TODDLERS ARE CLUMSY GIANTS. I don’t want to give him a total complex, so I let him pet and kiss her, all the while just cringing over her wee, squishy head. He’s also a total and complete ASS with me and John. He’s fully in the terrible twos (yes, I know, “just wait until he’s three!”) and screams over everything, says no to everything, won’t eat unless it’s coated in sugar or in a cracker form, hits us over his timeouts, you know, HE’S TWO.
- I don’t feel like I’m handing him particularly well, but I’m trying to cut myself some slack: it’s very hard to entertain a toddler while nursing a newborn who always (a.l.w.a.y.s.) wants to nurse, so yeah, we watch more TV than we should. I’m tired and hormonal and tired so, no, I don’t always reply with his screaming “NO! Don’t like mama! Go away!” with an understanding, “Oh, I’m sorry you’re angry, sweetheart, let’s talk about it.” But I do try to make sure to give him some Xander Only attention each day, and to make sure he gets praise and compliments in addition to the constant “Shhhhh” ing.
- Luna is a newborn, so in many ways, there’s little to say about her. She is the poster-child for Dr. Sears’ attachment parenting. She likes: nursing, being worn in the BabyHawk (so she is close to the bewbs), sleeping next to me so she can eat all night long. She doesn’t like: anything else that doesn’t involve the above three things. It’s easier and harder. I know exactly what will calm her down (nursing!), I know she will nap if I put her in the BabyHawk, I know she will cry if I change her or hand her off to John to shower. But it’s also hard because, you know, I have other things to do. Like shower. SOMETIMES. Or read Xander a story, or just go in a quiet room and stare at the walls without anyone TOUCHING ME or NEEDING ME. But I know that it won’t last for very long, so I’m trying to savor what I can and just survive what I can’t and try not to get too smelly.
- The pediatrician heard a heart murmur at her 2 week appointment, so we are going to the cardiologist later this month to have it checked out. Most likely it is a benign murmur – I have one myself, and will require nothing more than to be observed and recorded and then ignored. I’m still a wee bit nervous about it, obviously, because she is my baby and so little and well, you know. But I’m mostly trying not to think about it until it’s time.
- John is awesomely John and he’s home on Spring Break now (ha ha ha ha – spring! I WISH) which means I’m taking gross advantage of him and not letting him get a moment’s peace. This morning he took Xander out for cupcakes before I lost my everloving mind at the gazillionth rendition of The Wheels on the Bus.
- Other than smelly! (It’s not THAT bad. I don’t think.) I’m actually pretty good! I was much more of a wreck in Xander’s early days, honestly. Less sleep because I was 1), doing that whole crappy feed AND pump every two hours thing and 2), afraid of co-sleeping. I have not pumped once for Luna – I just feed her when she’s hungry – and I’m much more confident in my own ability to make choices like co-sleeping (and to do so SAFELY, obviously). Sleeping with her next to me (or propped up with her on my chest) means we BOTH sleep much better. I wake up when she needs help latching on, or to be changed, and then we both go back down. Fin. This makes me a much better parent.
- I’m not super great at leaving the house with both kids – it’s a hugely daunting task – so mostly I don’t. I’m lucky enough that even when John does have work, he’s home often during the day so I can wait for a time when he can watch one or both of them before running to the store. Or I let HIM run to the store.
- I accepted a teaching job that starts in 2 weeks and I’m not sure that this was a wise choice. It is so hard to find any time at all to do something, let alone something that is actually REQUIRED to get done. But this time, unlike when I was still pregnant/delivering, I’m only taking one class, so hopefully it won’t be too overwhelming.
And that is where we are. Now that I’ve broken the wall of not posting, maybe I’ll be a bit more regular again. But, maybe nott.