2012: Words & Pictures

2011, 2010

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

Traveled outside of the US, got pregnant with a girl variety human, went to The Blathering

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Here are the “goals” I made last year (I don’t call the resolutions, but still, same idea). (Original post here.) For this year they’ll be much of the same: get back into shape post baby (combination of working out (I’m thinking pilates) and eating well), more writing and photography, more attitude adjustments as needed.

• Start running again: Yes. I joined a RunClub with some other moms and ran, typically, once a week. Sometimes on my own (though not often).
• Do some creative writing: Yes. A friend and I started a “writing group,” just the two of us, and while it sporadic and what not, I did do some writing for it. Mostly early on in the year. I’ve fizzled out since then.
• Keep trying out new recipes: Yes. I still really love to cook. I rely heavily on recipes (online or books), but have enough confidence to do some minor to moderate tweaking.
• Positivity: I give myself a medium on this. I still feel like I’m too hard on myself, and too whiney in general. But I am improving, I think, and want to keep working on it.
• Read More: Impossible to say. I’ve read a lot, as I always do, but I did not keep good track of it like I did last year, so I have no idea what my book count was.
• Photography: Another medium: I’ve used the new camera some, but still mostly use my iPhone.
• Keep working on the house: Medium. My office is now a nursery (!) and we’ve done some cleaning out and rearranging, but there’s still (and always will be) work to be done. We toy with the idea of slightly remodeling the bathrooms/kitchen, but are doubtful it would be worth the cost.
• Garden: Yes! It didn’t ALL pan out, but we had a lovely patio flower garden, and I joined a community vegetable garden. The vegetable garden had to be scrapped because of contaminated compost, but I did it!
• Keep Teaching: I’m about to keep this one. I don’t think I’ve taught anything since last year, but I have two classes scheduled for next month. Hurray!

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

A local friend of mine had a little girl last spring, and a CA friend just had her baby girl last month (I think!).

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Yes and no – how’s that for a solid answer?  A family member died, but we were not close and have not been in years.

5. What countries did you visit?

Mexico! Oh, that was lovely.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

This answer will be much the same as last year. I want to maintain some sense of self that isn’t tied in to being a mom. I no longer feel like “just” a mom (can we all say AMEN), but I still don’t do a lot of stuff that reflects who I am apart from my child (soon to be children). I want to hold on to that internal, creative life, no matter how small it becomes with the new responsibilities of another newborn. I want to maintain relationships with MY friends, as women, not just as parents to Xander’s friends.

7. What dates from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

June 9 (ish): getting a positive pregnancy test.
July 1-9: My good friend Paula and her girl came to visit
September 27: Finding out JS and I will be having a daughter
December 14: SandyHook (as if it won’t be in everyone’s memory)

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I think that going to The Blathering was a big deal for me. I was so nervous, and felt nervous about how I “did” even after getting home, but I am so very glad I went. It really widened my circle of friends, and brought “internet” relationships to life. I got Christmas cards from these ladies!

9. What was your biggest failure?

In general, my lack of patience on those monotonous days home with Xander where everything he does grates on my nerves. I forget that he’s just two, and not really grown up, no matter how verbal he’s become, and I let myself expect more from him than he’s capable of doing.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I feel like pregnancy is one big illness/injury. But, really, no. I mean, this abscessed tooth hurts like a…well, badly, but it’s not anything SERIOUS.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A trip to Mexico with just me and JS.

12. Where did most of your money go?

Traveling. We went to Mexico, Alabama, Florida, a cabin in the mountains, I went to NOLA.

13. What did you get really excited about?

Learning I was pregnant. Xander starting preschool (cheesy, I know, but I was – and am – so proud of him).

14. What song will always remind you of 2012?

Labor of Love – the song I picked for the photo slide show. It’s not from this year, but I listened to it a lot while driving around and it just…fits.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you: – happier or sadder? Happier. I’m more at home in Vermont than I was last year, I’ve made more friends and really “put myself out there,” so to speak. Same with my Internet life. This will forever be the year, in my mind, that my Internet friends became REAL friends, and that has been so awesome. – thinner or fatter? HA! I’m 33 weeks pregnant. Fatter. – richer or poorer? Financially poorer.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Gone exploring locally – more walks, more outside adventures, less staying inside.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Less worrying about how others see me, less being such a homebody.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

(Same as last year) With my small family in our home. It was so, so great.

19. What was your favorite TV program? Favorite new shows: Person of Interest, Elemental

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

I read all of Tana French’s books this year, and I loved them all (with the VERY noteable exception of Broken Harbor – HATE); Let’s Pretend This Never Happened; Storybound; The Fault in our Stars.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

I have not been good at keeping up with music, but I discovered Kathleen Edwards this year and have enjoyed her a lot.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

I don’t even know what I saw this year: The Hobbit, The Hunger Games

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

This was a fun birthday year; I turned 33 on 12-12-12. I had a girl’s night out with some good friends, and then JS and I celebrated that weekend with dinner and going to The Hobbit.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

(Same as last year) Having a personal project (or sticking with the one I’d picked) that I’d have worked on throughout the year.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

This is a lame question.

26. What kept you sane? My family. Reading. Facebook.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.

This has been a good year for accepting who I am, something they try to teach all of us before puberty. But, it seems, this is a lesson that needs relearning. I am introverted, yes, and I don’t have to change that to make new friends. I don’t have to be someone I’m not to reach out and take personal risks. In a somewhat meta and dorky way, this also means that I accept that a large part of my life is lived online. I care about the people I know on Twitter, and sure, it may seem silly, but it’s true. And having virtual (and now virtual turned real) friends is something that makes me happy, so I don’t really care if it’s silly or not.

And now for the slide show! A lot of these pictures end up being repeats, because I make a slide show for Xander’s birthday each year, so I’m thinking of only doing one of these a year, either year end or Birthday. Thoughts?  (2011 in Pictures; 2010).

(Music: Labor of Love by Sweet Talk Radio)

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You Guys, I Think The Weather Reads My Blog

Because as soon as I bitched about the weather, low and behold:

Oh, sun. Please don’t go away again.

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What’s Bugging Me

(Warning, contains spoilers about the Chuck series finale.)

Yes, babies are sweet and they grow up too fast and look, whatever, let’s talk about some really important stuff, shall we? Here are some things that have really gotten on my nerves, lately.

• Brown Rice: So, I was buying this brand of bagged rice from the health aisle, let’s call it Mundgrens, and every time I cooked it, it turned out terribly. Soggy and underdone with scorched bits on the sides. I tried everything. Reduce water. Add MORE water. Longer cook time. Longer boil time. NOTHING WORKED. And, look, it’s RICE, you know. It was insulting me by not cooking right. I’m no professional chef, but I can cook RICE for Pete’s sake.  (Never fear, I found a new brand that I have to order ONLINE, but it cooks great every time. Screw you, Mundgrens.)
• (SPOILERS) Chuck. Look, I love Chuck. I love Chuck and Sarah. It’s been such a fun show for (almost) the entire series. JS and I have watched it since the beginning. I wasn’t expecting a mind blowing finale, honestly, because I know that the entire original crew isn’t working on it. That being said, WTH, CHUCK?!?!?! No hint of the future? No hope for what their lives end up as? And if that ending is the ending, if we do not know if the kiss worked, then what was the point of the last five years? Why even bring up the idea of their dream house and family if you were never going to use it? WHY, CHUCK, WHY?
• Diapers. DIAPERS. We use disposables at night because I have yet to find any combination of any cloth diaper that keeps Xander dry at night. (And yes, I’ve probably tried what you’re about to suggest). Last time I needed some from the store, though, they were out of the brands we normally get so I just picked some random generic brand and they are quite possible the WORST DIAPER EVER MADE. The tabs rip off when you’re trying to get them on, they leak, and they give Xander a rash. But can I remember to get the right ones now that they’re most likely back in stock? No, no I cannot. So instead I bitch about it to JS every time we have to get up at 2AM to change his soaked through diaper.
• Recipes with ‘tude. So, sure, I *may* be under the influence of Lady Hormones, but still. Nothing appealed to me for lunch today so I found a recipe for chewy chocolate chip cookies (I’m not a huge fan of the hard ones) and I’m making them and they look great and then at the end of the recipe it says “Don’t eat them all yourself!” Like, I’m sorry, but you are text on a computer screen. You cannot tell me how many cookies I may or may not eat.
• Winter.
• Chuck. STILL.

What’s on your nerves today, Internet? C’mon. Share.

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2012: Let’s Do This

Hey! It’s a new year! Let’s hope those Mayans were wrong!

New Year, as a holiday, is quite possibly my least favorite day ever.  Something about the whole having my apartment broken into and landing myself in the ER and police station thing really, you know, ruined it for me.

But, despite that, I do love the idea of new beginnings. The excuse to try and improve myself, and my life. Last year I made some great changes, I think. I was more physically active, ate better, tried to live a more eco-friendly and sustainable life. This year, I want to keep those goals, and add a few new ones, to boot.

• Start running again: we brought our treadmill for JS’s physical therapy (for vertigo) with us from San Diego, but it’s jammed way back in the garage. This week we’re going to move it into the basement and I want to use it several times a week. And also get outside and run whenever the weather isn’t TOO horrible. (Like tomorrow, when the high is 9 degrees? Not a day I want to get back into trail/street running.)
• Do some creative writing: any kind, for any purpose. A journal, a book draft, short stories, whatever. I may do another NYC Midnight contest, just as a push.
• Keep trying out new recipes: I miss some of the more diverse dining options we had in SoCal.  Instead of whining about it, though (or, rather, instead of ONLY whining about it), I want to learn how to make tandoori chicken or massaman curry.
• Positivity: This works out to be many things. I want to have a more positive outlook in general, and keep my negative thoughts in check. I want to surround myself with positive people, people who are enjoyable to be around. And I want to be that type of person, too.
• Read More: I’m pretty impressed with my 75 books last  year. This year I want to read 80.
• Photography: take pictures with my actual camera, not just my cell phone. This means I’ll actually have to get my camera cleaned, though. I still have sand in it from my last beach trip.
• Keep working on the house: we have a few rooms left to paint, and a few odds and ends to buy (most noteably: lamps. SO DARK.). We did a big push of house stuff, then cooled it when JS really got into the semmester. I don’t want to just leave it all as is and never feel like we really made it ours.
• Garden: I am sort of sad that we didn’t end up with one of the more flat yards of the other houses we had looked at, but still. We have a yard with more space than we could have ever imagined in San Diego. I want to plant stuff! Mostly I’m excited to try and grow some vegetables and herbs. I’ll start small, though, since I’ve never gardened before.
• Keep Teaching: I’ve really enjoyed the few online classes I’ve taught. I want to keep doing them, and maybe apply to other online schools, too. to broaden my experience base.

That’s it. Not terribly thrilling, nor innovative. But, still. I think they’re doable. Do you have any goals for the new year?

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2011: In Words

Here’s last year’s.

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Ran a half marathon, moved to a new state, bought a house, taught college classes, survived a (few) tornadoes, became a redhead.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I looked through my archives and can’t see if I ever made official resolutions last year, but here are the ones I had considered when I wrote my 2010 post. I have not made any resolutions yet, but I always do (even if I always break them).

• Get physically active again: Pretty good, over all. I did run 13.1 miles at once, after all.
• Have a weekly vegetarian dinner: Not necessarily weekly, but I did make quite a few new vegetarian dishes.
• Take more pictures.  This would be a total fail. Ahem.
• Write. Write. Write. Another failed resolution.
• Get some teaching experience: Yes. Taught 2 online college courses.
• Live someplace with an actual, honest to goodness, yard. Yes! We have a yard. Granted, it’s steep and wooded and I have NO idea what to do with it, but we have it.
• Get. Out. Of. The. House. Yes. I joined a Mom’s group in San Diego and in Vermont.
• Try getting involved in a church: No.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Many of the new friends I’m making here in VT had babies since my arrival. It’s so fun to see the little squishy newborns and remember when Xander used to be that small.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No.

5. What countries did you visit?

None.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

Last year I wanted a sense of purpose, to be more comfortable in my own skin. And I think I did pretty well with that. I relaxed into my primary role as Xander’s Mom. I got to do a little bit of work that paid actual American dollars but didn’t require me to sacrifice staying home with X. I stopped thinking that I wasn’t anything more than the small daily chores of my life. This year, I want to maintain that, not let myself slip back into that self-descrtuctive thinking, but I also want to regain my creative life. I haven’t taken many pictures this year at all, I haven’t written anything but the sporadic blog post. And if this were the case and it didn’t bother me, then I’d say fine. Maybe that’s just something I no longer need. But it does bother me. I don’t feel fully complete without doing SOMETHING creative…even if I never write that book I’ve been claiming to want to write for  years now.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 24th: going through those terrible tornadoes with Xander was really, really terrifying. I’m still so very thankful we all ended up OK.
August 29th: closing on our very first house.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Moving. It wasn’t easy. Xander and I were nomadic without JS for several weeks before coming to VT and being nomadic with JS. I’m still trying to adjust and let go of my homesickness. But we did it. We’re all together and in our home and trying to thrive in a new environment.

9. What was your biggest failure?

This one is still hard for me to answer. Not that I haven’t failed or made mistakes, there’s just not ONE thing that stands out to me as The Big Failure. If I had to pick, I think the lack of creativity stands out the most.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

A pretty bad stomach bug; a sinus infection; a pulled IT band from running.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

A house.

12. Where did most of your money go?

The move, and the house. And, quite possibly, Christmas.

13. What did you get really excited about?

(I feel like a broken record here.) Moving into the house, Harry Potter, reuniting the family after being separated last summer.

14. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Probably something from Glee.

15. Compared to this time last year, are you: – happier or sadder? Mixed. I think the sadness is mostly missing my old friends and old life in San Diego, and struggling to get used to being a new person in a new place (and also the lack of sunlight). But I’m so very happy that we took steps, as a family, to improve the quality of our lives, even though it meant taking such a huge risk and moving all the way across the country to a place I had never even seen. – thinner or fatter? I have no idea. I was in decent shape after the half marathon, but haven’t done a lick of exercise since then. I feel fatter. – richer or poorer? Financially poorer.

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Taken more pictures.

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying and moping.

18. How did you spend Christmas?

With my small family in our home. It was so, so great.

19. What was your favorite TV program? Glee. Parenthood. Modern Family. Raising Hope.

20. What were your favorite books of the year?

I read so many books this year (74!). Mostly YA. The one that stands out the most, though, is not a YA novel:  Cutting for Stone.

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

Mostly the same from last year (Glee, Mumford and Sons, Joshua Radin). But I also really enjoyed Ludovico Einaudi’s instrumental music.

22. What were your favorite films of the year?

I saw so few movies this year, it’s embarassing. Favorites: Harry Potter, The Descendants.

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

JS stayed home from the work in the morning and he took Xander and I out to a nice brunch. Some friends had me and Xander over for dinner that night while JS taught. I was 32.

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Having a personal project that I’d have worked on throughout the year.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

“Evolving.” I’m much better at not just wearing yoga pants to run errands. I’m learning to embrace the leggings/skinny jeans with long shirts/sweaters.

26. What kept you sane? My family. Reading. Facebook.

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Enjoy the people in your life, utilize them, and be grateful for them.  This year had it’s share of challenges, and as trite and cliche as it sounds, I could not have gotten through some of them without JS, my family, and friends. Even that took work, though. JS has been working on getting me to actually verbalize my thoughts (instead of just ASSUMING that he knows. Crazy, eh?), and I’m making a big effort to make sure we’re always talking about what’s going on inside of our heads. It’s such a simple, silly thing, but it’s been so great, and reminds me that we’re partners in life together, and that there’s nothing worth keeping to myself.

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Thankful

We’re leaving tomorrow for Ohio, and I’m hoping to be offline as much as possible (which is sort of impossible, given that I’m in the middle of my second class), but I still want to take the time and post some of the things I’m thankful for.

• The way Xander shakes his bootie and waves his hands in the air when he hears music
• The way JS reads Xander his bedtime stories, with alternate words and endings
• Ditto to his songs
• Hot chocolate.
• A job that lets me stay home with my son
• And dog (Tonks needed to be included)
• A house that’s ours
• The bakery next door to a playground: chocolate croissants and slides are a great way to enjoy a Saturday morning with my boys
• Video chats with Gramma and Grampa
• Staying connected to friends through Facebook and Twitter
• That Xander’s head still smells like powder (when it’s clean, at least)
• The chance to visit good friends for the holidays
• Books, new and old
• Starting holiday traditions of our own
• Keeping some of the old ones, too
• JS rubbing my head when I have a headache
• Peppermint Tea
• Starbucks sweetbread
• Xander’s trick of shaking his head side to side whenever he’s extraordinarily happy (spoiler: almost always)
• Cheap toddler shoes from ebay

So, basically everything, except for the dozens of giant, man-eating spiders I have to kill INSIDE THE HOUSE on a weekly basis. I am not thankful for those. NOT AT ALL.

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Some stuff that’s off topic and then food!

This Penn State thing is like a giant wormhole. Every article links to another article, with more horrifying information, new terrible rumors, and I get to this point where I think it’s never going to stop. More and more horrible acts are going to be discovered and it’s just going to keep getting bigger and bigger. I wasn’t even going to write about this, because what is there to say? It seems pretty obvious: raping children = bad. Not doing anything about it once you find out (or doing the very minimum you can while covering your own ass) = bad. Pretty self explanatory, right? It’s so gut-wrenching to think about how how many different ways the world failed those kids, and for what? To win? For fucking football? Give me a break.

I think about Xander, and how I don’t want to create this image of the world for him that’s full of fear, and being afraid of everyone who’s not Mom or Dad, but then, what? You can trust your teacher. You can trust your coach. Only, sometimes you can’t. So I just have to trust that I’ll be able to protect him, somehow, ask the right questions, be present. I don’t know. It’s not enough. But how can we do any more? Lock him up? Don’t let him play sports or go to camp or school or spend the night at a friend’s house?

In college I had a summer job as a lifeguard/swim instructor at a day camp, and one of the kids came in with a black eye and said her uncle hit her. I, of course, went and told my supervisors and waited to hear what they were going to do about it, which turned out to be nothing. I was young, and dumb, but I was so not OK with that. I went back to my boss and said that if they didn’t call someone, I would, even if they fired me. Only then did she explain that the girl’s mom had already told them the story of what happened and that her uncle was a 10 year old kid. Would have been nice to know BEFORE I started making crazy threats, but hey, I knew what was right, even if I didn’t know much of anything else at the time.

ANYWAY. There’s a whole bunch of words that were not at all what I was going to write about. Blogging, amiright?

What I wanted to write about was food, and cooking! FUN!

I don’t know how I ended up thinking about it, probably sometime during the crazy dinner hour where I’m trying to make a meal and Xander is tugging on my leg whining to be picked up and the dog is barking periodically wanting HER dinner and John asks if I don’t want to maybe make something easier since it’s such a crazy night and….well, that’s the normal seen around here at dinnertime. But while in SOME ways the idea of an easy meal, pre-prepared, or store bought bread instead of homemade bread, is appealing in terms of time management, but nothing else. I really enjoy cooking. I like making stuff from scratch, even if it takes a long time. I don’t love the constant interruptions, but that’s just life with a toddler.

I like making good things for my family and it’s not just about the food itself. It’s being able to give them something that comes from me. Cheesy, yes, I know. But true. Ravioli from a can is not child abuse, but it’s not the same. For me. And, of course, I know not everyone has the luxury of being home and having the time (or desire) to make all these meals and snacks every day.  And so even when it makes me nuts to have to deglaze a pan while carrying Xander on one hip and trying to keep his hands away from the steam, I love being able to do something that comes completely from me and that they enjoy. Well, mostly. I mean, sometimes I do give Xander a PPJ for dinner because everything else gets tossed to the dog. And sometimes I spend a lot of time making something and it turns out horribly and we have to pick up Thai food instead.

Now, if only I could muster the same passion about keeping the house clean and the laundry done.

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Odds and Ends

Previously, on EmilysHollow….meh, whatever. I haven’t blogged in a while and I have no real thrilling reason, just the same old semi-interesting and mostly generic excuses. But! Hi! Immagonna write a post today.

In bullet format. Because I’m rad like that.

• I am really enjoying this online teaching gig. Yeah, it’s still challenging to find time to get everything done, but I am learning to embrace the chaos. I enjoy helping people who are just getting back into school, mostly after a long break. I enjoy using my degree. I enjoy finding the best way to explain a concept so that someone can understand it. It’s nice. I have not yet enjoyed the extra cash, but that’s because I haven’t been to the bank to deposit my checks. But I’m sure I’ll enjoy that, too.
• That being said, the time commitment to do a good job teaching means that there is a lot of other stuff slipping through the cracks. Right now I have three hampers full of clean and wrinkled clothes because I have not had time to put them away (and not to mention the ones sitting in the dryer, being continuously fluffed). My floors are a mess, and I don’t think I’ve not had dishes on the counter for the past 5 weeks. I’m trying to just let go and not care and still take time to relax and enjoy life instead of freaking out over how much there is to do. Because…yeah, there’s a bunch of crap to do. That’s life. And there’s nothing I want to cut out to create more time (and, let’s be honest, that time would just get filled with other crap). So instead of not taking down time to read, or watch Glee, or tickle Xander until he screams, I’m choosing to not mop the floors.
• We’re driving to Ohio to see some friends for Thanksgiving, and I’m so pumped! It was GOING to be surprise, but didn’t end up that way, but it’s just as well. It’s a long drive, 8+ hours, and we’re taking Xander AND Tonks. I think we may be insane and just go for it. I mean, it’s not like any of us will sleep if we stop in a roadside motel, right? But, who knows. I’ve ordered a few small toys for the car to surprise Xander with, and I plan on handing out his Fishy Crackers one at a time to prolong snack time.  It’ll be fun to see where JS grew up, fun to see our friends whom we haven’t seen in ages, and also fun to GO TO TRADER JOE’S!
• Xander is a full time walking baby. It took him a while to really commit, I mean, crawling is FASTER, but now he walks. And climbs. And falls off of stuff all the time. ALL. THE. TIME.
• I’ve been taking a picture a day and posting it to a Facebook album, all of the images focused on our first year in VT. The thing is, I’m great at taking the pictures every day, but HORRIBLE at posting them. I mean, really bad. Right now I’m at least a week behind. But I have the pictures! I do!
• So JS and I have been watching Terra Nova. It seemed like an interesting premise, had some good people working on it, but oh man, it’s getting really lame. I know it’s not fare to compare it to LOST, which will remain one of my all time favorite shows for all of eternity amen, but you know, it’s no LOST. There is ZERO character development. Zero. Like, these people are on screen and just do dumb stuff and we don’t know why and I don’t really care and ugh. Dinosaurs can’t even save it, man. Also? Who goes back in time to live with dinosaurs and builds a society that relies completely on modern technology and electricity? WHO?!
• Person of Interest, though, I really like.  Benjamin Linus is bad ass, y’all.
• Halloween was fun. We went to a local outdoor museum the Sunday before for some Trick-or-Treating, but mostly just to show off Xander in his adorable puppy costume. I mean, come on. Is he cute or what?

• That was the only event for us, though. We stayed home Monday night because he’s one, ya know? It’s not like he’d enjoy going door to door in his stroller.

And, because I know all you want are baby pictures, here’s a bunch more after the jump:

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Somewhere Along The Line I Turned Into A Real Wimp

I have two more stories for you. Not funny ones about my brothers, though (and I was a PERFECT baby, so there will be none about me, either) (I kid. I betcha my dad’ll be on here in moments to tell y’all how I never slept through the night until I was three) (sorry, Mom).

Anyway, nonbaby stories. Gross stories to demonstrate just how WIMPY I’ve become in the past year or so. It’s not like I was ever a bastion of steel nerves, or whatever, but I worked at a Camp with Gross Kids (just by their nature, you know, nothing particularly gross about those kids), I grew up with brothers, I’m used to Icky Things.

Story the first: The other night JS came to bed a while after I’d already turned in, because I am lame and go to bed insanely early, and gave Tonks a little pet on her back. Luckily, or unluckily, depending on how you look at it, his hand fell right on this weird….THING. He woke me up, wondering what it was, while I tried to ignore him. “It’s probably just, like, a skin tag, or something.” But, no, he kept prodding at it, made me look at it (looked like a weird skin tag) and then said, I kid you  not. “Oh my God, there are legs coming out of it.” LEGS, INTERNET. LEGS. I…I just. No. I still can’t even type this story out without feeling like I’m going to pass out. And I’m not saying “Oh, I felt like I was going to pass out” as a way to describe my deep discomfort about the situation. I actually thought I was going to pass out. I sort of feel like it now, just remembering. That weird tingly feeling on my neck, the lightness behind my eyes. Yeah.

LEGS.

Turns out Tonks had a pretty bad tick, JS removed it like a rockstar, and I was the ass who wanted to ignore it because I’M SLEEPING.

Story the two: I was making dinner last night (polenta pie, so so so good), and using my handy (SPOILER!) mandolin to slice the zucchini to make it all uniform in size. I was slicing away when I told myself, “Self, one more slice and then be sure to stop because you’ll be pretty close to cutting yourse- ….. GAHHHHHHHHHHHH! OUCH! HELP!” That past part was out loud. Maybe with a few words that start with S or F. Or both. I don’t know. It hurt. I cut my middle finger, on the side, between the top and middle knuckle. And it wasn’t just a cut, it was a gouge. Like I’d been splinched. A chunk of my finger was (uniformly sliced!) in my pile of vegetables. A normal cut I think I could have handled. But this one? This one I seriously had to lower my head and grab onto the counter to stop the tunnel vision.

So now I have a missing divot in my finger.

I don’t get it. I mean, yeah, gross and owie, but still. I’m not a person who just up and FAINTS. I mean, I used to be, but that was a long time ago and I had Some Issues. This was pure and simple Victorian Swooning crap, and I’m so not OK with it.

But, in my defense, Internet. Legs. LEGS. OMG.

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Updates

Here are some random bullet updates because I’m blogging on stolen time here. Xander’s napping and I have a kitchen full of dirty dishes and phone calls to make, but I don’t want to neglect you, Internet. I’m not cleaning my kitchen for YOU.

• Xander’s general brattiness of the last FOREVER (OK, fine, Internet, it’s not REALLY forever, maybe a month, or even less, but during that time it sure felt like forever) is slowly fading. He’s more often our happy little boy than not, and I’m so grateful for that. He’s still clingier than he was, so I don’t think this developmental jump is over, yet.
• This weekend we went to Underhill, a town just a few miles from us, to see some early leaves turning and then again to attend a fall festival that turned out to be more or less a giant junk sale but with food. That makes it sound like it wasn’t fun, but it was! And we got a killer apple pie made by some lady at the church sponsoring  the festival.  The festival was yesterday. The pie is half gone. And we didn’t share with the baby.
• Interesting to probably none of you:  I’m trying to cook a lot more vegetarian meals for us. I’m not…anti-meat, I wouldn’t say, but JS and I both feel pretty strongly about making sure the meat we DO consume is healthy and humanely produced. (You watch Food, Inc. and try not to let it get to you). Plus, it saves us a ton of money on groceries each week. I bought the Moosewood cookbook and I may or may not have spoiled a surprise about getting a Vegetarian magazine from a friend and I’m really digging it. It’s not all just swapping out tofu for the meat in dishes. There are tons of tasty things in there that meat would make less tasty. This week I’m going to be making polenta pie and zucchini pancakes. Yum.
• I really do enjoy living where we are. It’s so pretty that when I drive around, I often feel like I’m on vacation. I like the play group we attend each week. I like the emphasis on local goods/services, the feeling of community. But I still hate feeling like the new kid. I’m still in that weird “I know your name and see you somewhat often but we’re not friends yet” state with most people, and it sucks.
• Yesterday while carrying Xander to the car, my back (the muscle around my left shoulder blade) went into crazy spasms. Not good. I’ve injured this before, to the point where the muscle was so tight it was displacing my ribs and making it difficult to breathe. That really sucked, but it was before baby, and I was able to take a few muscle relaxers and not lift anything and it got (mostly) better. I’m TRYING to take it easy, but I’m home alone with the baby all day and he demands to be picked up and, well, you know. It’s not the easiest to take it easy when your 14 month old is pulling on your pants and sobbing for you to carry him.
• Xander’s favorite past time these days is gripping JS or me by the fingers and walking around the house, steering us where ever he wants to go. Every once and a while, he’ll stop, look up at me, and wait for me to kiss his nose and cheeks. If I don’t notice him fast enough, he stomps his feet to get my attention. It’s pretty wonderful.

Happy Monday, here’s your Xander fix:

No, that’s not a third leg sticking out, it’s me, being lame and making sure he wouldn’t climb off the …. whatever it is. Mini-wall. Wallette.

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